Needles and Pins

Needles and pins

As I mentioned in our last thrilling episode, I had my first electrolysis appointment today. Words fail me when trying to describe how it felt.

First let me say that emotionally, it felt wonderful. Couldn’t have been better. The lone high desert electrolysis person is very nice, friendly, and professional. It was a miracle that someone showed up here who does electrolysis in the first place. So it’s kind of a double miracle that she’s nice and didn’t make me feel like a freak or a degenerate.

Now, as for how it felt physically, as I said, words fail me. It was 45 minutes of torture. But we did start on one of the most sensitive areas, the upper lip. I can only hope that other areas are less…intense. Because when she jabbed into those hairs right along the lip line, well, it was hard to just lay there without howling. But if I howled, she wouldn’t be able to get the hairs, so you do what you have to do.

That was my main preoccupation while trying to go with the pain flow: keeping my eyes on the prize. Remembering why I was there. Remembering how great I was going to feel when it’s all done (in a year and a half). It didn’t help much. Nothing I tried to do to relax into the experience helped.

Because it’s torture.

Ha ha ha. There’s no point in trying to explain it or describe it. Like a lot of things, you’d have to go through it to understand.

But the results are so incredible. It was only 45 minutes, but she removed a lot of hair. I was surprised when I got into the car and looked in the mirror. Everything I read talked about a nickel or quarter-sized spot taking an hour, so after 45 minutes I didn’t expect much. But boy, it’s good. So much hair is gone. And she concentrated on the dark hairs (most of my beard hair is grey/white, which is why I’m not talking about my first laser hair removal appointment right now), so the effect is probably more pronounced. But I am well pleased, to put it mildly.

As an added bonus, I cried. 🙄

Not over the pain. Over the emotions that it brought up. I told you I cry at the drop of a hat these days. But it’s because I become overwhelmed with emotion over the smallest things. Or over absolutely nothing. So when I was thanking her before I left, I cried a bit. I did. Just for a few seconds. But she didn’t seem uncomfortable about it, so I have to try to forget about it. And try not to do it every time I see her.

But out of everything that goes into becoming Hannah, getting rid of this facial hair may be the biggest thing. It’s easily the biggest thing so far. When COVID came to visit in 2020 I knew everything was going to shut down and I feared that I might never get my facial hair removed. But here I am. Here we are. It’s a beautiful evening in the high desert.



  1. I’m SO HAPPY for you!!!! It’s the beginning of a new life for you, even though it’s incredibly painful. I’m so proud of you, and for that, I also have no words. I just love you and feel honored to experience this with you.

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