I chopped off six inches of hair yesterday.

You’d think that would give me short hair, but it was pretty long to begin with, so while losing six inches made a difference, it isn’t a dramatic one.

No, baby, this isn’t me. But it could be.

But it looks much better now. More like a hair style and less like a scraggly mop of dry summer wheat. Which is what your hair tends to resemble as you get older.

Though long and straight and parted in the middle might not exactly be a style as much as a default I-don’t-know-what-else-to-do-with-it kind of thing. Or it could just be a Brady Bunch influence. Next thing you know I’ll be having footballs thrown at my face.

Well, I’m sure some people would like to give me a football to the face, but I won’t give them the satisfaction. I stay the hell away from footballs as a general rule.

Was that too obscure a reference? Football to the face? If so, you need to watch more Brady Bunch and less Keeping Up With the Kardashians.

On second thought, don’t watch The Brady Bunch. It didn’t really age well.

But I have to say, I’ve come across a few episodes lately, and I was surprised by how many non-white people were hanging around. And not like in a, “LOOK AT THE BROWN PERSON!” kind of way. They were just there like it wasn’t any big deal.

You know, like real life.

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