Two Weeks In (or Out)

It would be an understatement to say that the reaction in the past two weeks has been positive. I’ve been deeply touched by the messages I’ve received. And surprised by who sent some of them. When you’ve been ashamed and embarrassed by something for your entire life, then you reveal the awful thing, you hardly expect people to celebrate it. But many did. Well, I can’t tell you how good it feels.

Which isn’t to say that it’s been all gin and tonic. I’ve received a few emails mocking my new name and me in general. Not from anyone I give a shit about, so that’s a plus. But I almost called this post “Conversation With an Idiot,” because of what happened with one old “friend.”

We communicate by text mainly, because if I get on the phone with him I end up listening to a 3, 4, 5, or 6-hour monologue. There are a few people I talk to now and then who do that. I hardly say anything, because there’s no room to say anything. Why do they call me? They could just as well hold the phone up to their face and pretend to call someone and get out whatever is in their system.

But I digress. So the dear friend that I text with now and then lost his everloving mind when I sent him a link to the podcast. Lashed out with half a dozen insults and melodrama. So I just said, “I know it’s shocking, but you’re being very dramatic,” and ignored him.

Then, the next day he was back with, “Oh, you know I love you no matter what.” And a barrage of questions that I expected and didn’t mind answering. But then out of nowhere, more insults including “As usual, everything is about you.”

This is the guy, bear in mind, who has talked into my ear literally all night, on several occasions. I dozed off during one of the marathons and when I woke up I just said, “Um hmm,” and he kept going for another two hours. That’s who’s telling me that I make everything about myself.

I should say though, for the record, I kind of do make everything about myself. But he was asking a million questions and I was just answering them. Then a switch flipped in his reptilian brain and he attacked me. Again.

So I blocked him on my phone and on the podcast site and life has been peaceful ever since.

One funny thing did come out of our conversation. He was explaining how wonderful and accepting he was by telling me about being in a club with Joan Jett when someone told him she was queer (or as my pal typed it, “SHE’S A DIKE !!”). He went on to say he didn’t care that SHE’S A DIKE !! “I just like her music,” he said, “I didn’t want to fuck her.”

So I typed back, “I didn’t want to fuck Joan Jett either. I wanted to be Joan Jett.”

Joan Jett
Joan is my spirit animal.

Which sums up life, I suppose. Look to Joan for guidance. She won’t let you down.

Okay, she let Jackie Fox down, but still.

WRITTEN BY A HUMAN

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